“‘Here’s what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?’ God, the Master, was delighted with Solomon’s response.” (1 Kings 3:9-10, The Message)
A couple of Sundays ago, after the worship service, someone who’s single was talking to me and asked me when Wendy would be due to give birth. I told him her due date is March 20. Then he said to me, “You will be a very wise person soon!” I asked him what he meant. He said that, “When you become a dad, you’ll be so wise, wouldn’t you?” Well, I can tell you, for me, the answer is no……
Just a few weeks ago, when Wendy and I were interviewing potential pediatricians, I was given a form to fill out at one of the pediatricians’ office. The first line item was “Dad: ___________”. For whatever reason, I thought they asked me who my dad is, so I filled out my dad’s name. And then in the next item, “Mom: ___________”, I filled out my mom’s name. Then Wendy saw what I was writing in the form, and she went “No! No! You should write down our names!” I went, “Oh Yeah!” What happened was I was not able to associate the word “dad” with myself. Two months ago, I thought I was ready to become a father, and now I’m not so sure. But now, I just hope my mind doesn’t blank out so easily like I did when I was filling that form.
So this is my biggest fatherhood fear: that I lack the wisdom for the job of being a dad. It’s starting to dawn on me how much of a responsibility it is to be the head of a household with two people totally dependent on you for their lives. It requires a lot of wisdom to make those quick day-to-day parenting decisions and be confident enough to stand by those decisions. It requires a lot of wise words to help Wendy and baby Chase. It requires a lot of wise actions from me to be a role model.
So, these days, my first thought in the morning, my first morning prayer, is “Lord, grant me wisdom.” That prayer is also known as “Solomon’s prayer”, and I know that it is a prayer that pleases God.