Easily Hurt, Not Easily Satisfied

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” (Phil 2:3)

There’s an epidemic affecting families, churches, and societies. It’s affecting people I know.

It’s not a threat like terrorism. It’s not a physical disease like SARS or AIDS.

I call it ID. ID stands for “I Deserve”.

If I contract this ID epidemic, I would be easily hurt but not easily satisfied. Whenever something does not go right, I would seek to blame other people for what went wrong. Only when other people completely understands me, when others always thinks of me in everything they do, when others completely respects my opinions and my preferences, would I be satisfied. Otherwise, I would feel hurt; that is, if I have ID.

ID is causing consumerism in churches. ID causes families and marriages to fall apart or go into apathy. ID causes us to look for therapists and counselors for everyday issues in life (like dealing with child discipline, dealing with friendship disputes) that people have dealt with in the past centuries and millenniums without the need for psychological help.

20 years ago, someone actually wrote a book called “I Deserve!”, saying “I deserve love. I deserve to be trusted. I deserve freedom. I deserve friendship. I deserve respect. I deserve sexual pleasure. I deserve happiness.” It sounds absurd, but I think many people really (subconsciously) subscribe to this philosophy.

If anything, we deserve eternal death for our sins.

I hope someone spend some effort curing us of this ID epidemic. Because I’m just tired of seeing ID going around the world, going around churches, going around families, going around my friends.

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5 thoughts on “Easily Hurt, Not Easily Satisfied

  1. If you are talking about a strictly working environment, I’d agree with you.  But in a friendship level involving brothers and sisters you are close to? not so much.  Friends are supposed to understand each other, sacrifice for each other, and love each other.  how are brothers and sisters supposed to bond with each other at a deeper level without more understandings…?  we can’t just assume any of our friends who complained that he/she is suffering from the “I Deserve” syndrome.  perhaps, we have really done something wrong and need to take a look in the mirrors first?

  2. I would agree with you that people say I deserve this or that mostly because of what they want and their sins, but bryankyu could be right sometimes. It is possible that it results from the injustice that has indeed happened. It is a fig-leave self-defense against a sinful attack.

    I guess then we need to ask: What biblical resources are made available to those who are suffering (the victim and the unwitting aggressor)? And, what if they have switched  their roles?

  3. Actually I found the quote from “I Deserve!” quoted from the book “A Nation of Victims” by Charles Sykes. In the book, he describes people are too quick to say that they’re victims.

    What I wrote was based on experience with some recent events around me so I can’t name specifics here. Suffice it to say that I know situations where people claim they’re victims, but if you step back and look at the picture, you know that what they’re really doing is wanting the whole world to cater to their needs.

    I do think that some people’s background and/or past experience has shaped them in such a way that they easily fall into the ID mode and/or the victim mode. There needs to be biblical resources to help them. Do you have any suggestions?

  4. So are you saying you are writing all these without biblical support…?  Well, For the record,  the Bible never mentioned we shouldn’t understand our brothers and sisters.  It mentioned however, repeatedly, we need to control our tongues because if we don’t, it can creates conflicts and can easily stir up anger and can spread like “wild fire”.  When those happened, we don’t go around and criticize people being burned that they are “ID”  people.  The teachings of Bible promote unity, understandings, peace, love, sacrifice; not labeling, conflict-creating, insensitivity, or listening to one side of story and  judging mindlessly.  Even if the person is an ID person, it doesn’t free us from the responsibility that we need to lead them back on the right track, simply because of our love for them.  Of course, if we don’t love them or “give a beep” about them, sure, just label and alienate them and head back to our own businesses. 

  5. Bryan, I don’t think we’re communicating on the same level here. Peace and unity among brothers and sisters does not exclude pointing out sins in our lives. When I write about ID, I’m concerned about this sinful “me first” attitude going around due to the philosophy of this age, and getting so bad where people are blaming their personality issues on others instead looking to take up responsibilities.

    Also, like I said, some of these issues arose due to things happening around me. In fact, the people that I refer to have very close relationships with me. When you mention “listening to one-side of the story”, I’m sorry to say, but it’s you, Bryan, who’s one-sided in this case. You just don’t have the context to understand this, but due to sensitivity, I cannot expand on talking about the context. I hope you understand why I’m being a bit vague.

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