Our Tenth Wedding Anniversary

It’s hard to believe that today is the 10th wedding anniversary for Wendy and I… 10 years together in matrimony! I just found out that it’s called a “Tin anniversary” or an “Aluminum anniversary.”

For some reason, my first thoughts about our anniversary have to do with some very discouraging articles I recently read, especially in the aftermath of the Jon & Kate Gosselin‘s marriage fiasco. When Jon & Kate Gosselin started going through marriage troubles, I started reading articles where people say that “traditional lifelong marriage” does not work. (for example: read “Jon and Kate Plus 8 prove traditional lifelong marriage is dead” in the San Francisco Examiner). And then I read an article in “The Atlantic” that seeks to debase the value of a “traditional lifelong marriage”, and it contains many quotes that distress me. Among those distressing quotes that the author wrote include:

“Sure, it made sense to agrarian families before 1900, when to farm the land, one needed two spouses, grandparents, and a raft of children. But now that we have white-collar work and washing machines, and our life expectancy has shot from 47 to 77, isn’t the idea of lifelong marriage obsolete?”

“Some of us stay married because …… the two-parent marriage is another impressive — and rare — attainment to bestow on our fragile, gifted children. Some of us stay married because — what else is there? A lonely apartment and a hot plate?”

“Why don’t we accept marriage as a splitting-the-mortgage arrangement? …… rekindling the romance is, for many of us, biologically unnatural, particularly after the kids come.”

Sadly, we are frequently bombarded with irresponsible messages like these that reduce marriage to just a legal contract, or a flimsy description of “when two people love each other very much, and they want everyone to know, then they get married.” No wonder it is obsolete. But what’s really obsolete is not “marriage” itself, but those false understandings of so-called “marriage”.

However, I would agree with one thing: it is not easy to be married. But that is also why marriage is so precious. Nothing that’s easy to attain would be valued as highly as something that takes pains to get.

Also, our struggles in our earthly marriages is perhaps a lesson for us who are believers in God. Christ’s second coming is described as the bridegroom (Christ) meeting the bride (the church), and it is a joyous event because of “the readiness of the bride”: “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7). I believe that some of the lessons I learn from my marriage not only help me become a better person, but also help me understand how I can be ready and be pure (2 Corinthians 11:2) in anticipation of Christ’s return.

So as Wendy and I celebrate 10 years of marriage, my thought should not be: “Whew! Made it to 10 years!” Instead, I hope my attitude would be: “We’ve only just begun! There’s so much more to learn!” In every marriage, there are eternal rewards waiting for us to discover.

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2 thoughts on “Our Tenth Wedding Anniversary

  1. Congratulations! Indeed, the good things are yet to come.

    I am not entirely surprised when people declare that traditional marriage does not work. When you look at how Adam and Eve interacted with one another after the Fall, their marriage was obviously set up for failure. They probably were still together for what the Lord has done for them (God’s grace in giving the promise in Genesis 3:15, the animal skin, etc.). Similarly, traditional marriage minus Christ is hopeless. In my community, there are a lot of brokenness in this area and many brokenness and hurts are kept under wrap.

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